


the past doesn’t die

by Phidippus



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Bonding, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Flashbacks, Gen, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Jason Todd is Robin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24759787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phidippus/pseuds/Phidippus
Summary: Their lives have never been simple, but Dick and Jason come to find that some bonds last through death.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd
Comments: 26
Kudos: 242
Collections: Dick & Jason, everybody loves dick





	the past doesn’t die

**Author's Note:**

> Dick Grayson deserves better and Jason Todd was a good kid. I am happy to die on either one of these hills.

“Absolutely _unacceptable._ I gave you specific directives. You were explicitly told _not_ to engage. And now you’ve risked the integrity of this entire operation!”

Jason leans his head back against the cold brick wall and exhales sharply as Batman’s words cut through the distant din of the city. He had taken off his helmet and tucked it under his arm. The air is cool this high up, and it feels good against his skin.

“What you did will set us back months! I didn’t train you to be this _thoughtless_!” Bruce continues in that voice that radiates unrelenting righteousness. A tone Jason is quite familiar with by now. “E _xplain yourself._ ”

Jason glances up impassively. The Bat looms large against the twinkling backdrop of Gotham, with all the menace of a thug’s waking nightmare. Too bad it has little effect on former Robins. He rolls his eyes and tucks his free hand into his pocket. There’s no need to respond. He isn’t under the gun this time.

Nightwing’s jaw clenches as he stares evenly at Batman. “I made a judgment call.” He says firmly. “It wasn’t worth losing Simms.”

Batman narrows his eyes. “Simms was not our objective.” He says curtly.

“He’s a murderer and serial rapist.” Dick sounds annoyed now. “He’s been off the grid for months. This could have been the only opportunity to take him down.”

“So you decided that the best course of action was to engage an unknown number of armed combatants, undermining weeks worth of surveillance and research, to take down _one_ subject?

“Yes, I did.”

“The cartel knows we’re tracking them now. They’ll go underground. All of the intel we’ve collected is useless.”

“And Simms is sitting in a prison cell.” Dick snaps back. “You’ve seen what he does to his victims. I couldn’t let him walk. It was only a matter of time before he dropped another body.”

“And how many people will die because we were unable to stop the cartel’s drug operation at its source?”

Jason’s gaze flicks back and forth between the two men as they argue. It’s funny. Up until a few months ago the scene would have been immensely satisfying to watch. Back when every chink revealed in the bats’ armor felt like vindication. Now he feels nothing. 

No, that’s not quite true. He does feel _something._ It’s a lingering sense of unease. An echo from a past life. Dick and Bruce are arguing, because that’s all they do when they aren't ignoring each other. They argue and glare and make bitter comments. 

Only that . . . isn’t true. Not now. They don’t do that anymore. Jason swallows and glances over at Dick.

“You weren’t _there_!” He says with an emphatic wave of his hands. “I _was_. I had to make a decision, and it was the right call.”

Batman stares at him for a moment, in that cold appraising way that was once able to make Jason shiver. Nightwing doesn’t balk. “Apparently I’ve made a mistake.” Batman says slowly. “I should never have put you in charge of this operation.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“I think it’s time you returned to Bludhaven.”

Dick looks like he’s about to lose it now. He opens his mouth to speak, probably to tell Bruce where he can shove it, when he happens to glance over and catch Jason’s eye. Then he freezes. Like he’s suddenly remembered something, and the anger just drains from him on the spot. He takes a deep breath and his mouth closes into a frown.

Jason’s throat suddenly feels dry. Because suddenly he’s fourteen again. And Dick’s looking at him like _that_. And that look is always followed by a concession. Dick walks away from the fight, and then he _leaves_. And they won’t see him again. Not for weeks or even months.

Bruce is saying something else, but Jason is too focused on Dick now to bother listening. The older man’s jaw is set, and he’s glaring a hole through Batman’s cowl. But he’s done arguing. Because they don’t do that. Because it’s not just the two of them anymore, and Dick knows what’s at stake.

Jason suddenly realizes his hands are shaking. He’s angry, and he’s stepping forward and speaking before he even really knows it.

“Screw you, Bruce!” Jason snarls as he thrusts a finger in the big bad Bat’s direction. He’s pissed; he doesn’t even care that he’s breaching vigilante etiquette of codenames. 

They both stare at him in surprise. Bruce looks like he might have forgotten Jason had even been there. And that only _adds_ to his irritation.

“Don’t talk to him like that.” Jason continues angrily as he rounds on Batman. “When you were gone, _he_ was the one who held this city together. He’s not your subordinate! And you better start showing him some goddamn respect!”

Jason can't tell who looks more shocked, Bruce or Dick. This feels weird all of a sudden, but Jason’s never been one to quit halfway. He turns from the Bat and grabs Dick’s arm and pulls. Surprisingly, The older vigilante doesn’t resist, and Jason finds that strangely reassuring. “Let’s go, Nightwing.” He says with all the indignation he can muster.

…..

“I’m taking Jay out for the evening.” Dick says breezily as he walks into the study. He doesn’t look up from his phone as he speaks. 

Jason glances up from his algebra homework and looks over at Bruce. 

“Robin has training.” Bruce replies as he shifts in his chair behind the mahogany desk. His ice blue eyes regard his eldest suspiciously.

Dicks exhales and snaps his phone shut, but he doesn’t argue with Bruce. Instead he turns to Alfred, who has already begun eyeing them warily. “Al?”

The butler gently sets down the antique vase he had been polishing and stands up straight. “Yes, Master Richard?” He says calmly.

“Don’t you think it would be good for Jason to get out of here for a bit?” Dick glances over at the boy with an easy smile. “If you’d like to, I mean.”

“Yeah.” Jason blurts out before he can really think. He curses inwardly and immediately looks over at Bruce; his mentor’s lips are pursed together with displeasure. _Crap._

“I think that is an excellent idea.” Alfred replies with a pointed look at Bruce. There’s a moment of silence as Bruce stares at Alfred, looking a little betrayed. The older man meets his gaze without yielding. Eventually Bruce concedes with a sigh.

“Fine.” He says curtly, like he doesn’t even care. And he turns his attention back to the papers spread across the desk. Jason notices the tight grip he now has on the pen.

“Great.” Dick replies airily. “C’mon Boy Wonder, you can finish that later.” Jason can’t tell if Dick just doesn’t notice or purposely ignores the way that Bruce’s eye twitches. He grabs Jason’s arm and pulls him out of the study.

…….

By the sixth inning the stadium is beginning to clear out. The Knights are down by 12, and most Gothamites don’t have it in them to watch the team lose for the fourth night in a row. 

The seats were cheap, even after they moved up to the front row of their section when its occupants left. Jason doesn’t mind, though. Bruce had taken him to a game last year, before the Knights got eliminated in the first round of the playoffs. They had box seats. Jason fell asleep after clearing out the buffet. 

He never cared much about baseball, but back before Bruce had taken him in he’d sometimes go to games with a few kids he knew, just for something to do. They’d climb up one of the chain link fences and slip through a gap into the bleachers. Security never cared, as long as they weren’t too blatant about it. Dick laughs when Jason tells him that story. 

As the game drones languidly on they chat and eat cold pizza. Dick seems lighter now. More carefree than when they’re with Bruce. It’s like he actually enjoys Jason’s company. And that’s . . . kind of cool. Jason had been star struck when he met the original Robin. Maybe even a little intimidated. But right now it all feels natural, and the moment is perfect. Or maybe almost perfect. Because eventually Dick is going to leave. 

“Oof. They’re putting in Sampson. A little late for that.” Dick says, eyeing the field as he sets his paper plate on the ground by his feet. He told Jason that he isn’t very interested in baseball either, but that doesn’t seem to stop him from knowing all about the sport. Dick is just like that. He knows something about everything.

Jason doesn’t respond. They’re at the bottom of the ninth. Or maybe the top. He forgets which is which, but the big lights over the field have turned on and the sky is turning black. Jason zips up his hoodie and leans back in his seat.

“Don’t look so glum, Little Wing.” Dick says, nudging him in the side. “Games almost over.” He lets out a little laugh. “I mean, it’s been over since the fourth inning, but it’s almost _over_ over.”

“Mmhm.” Jason says.

“Something on your mind?”

“No.” Jason lies.

“Okay.” Below them the Knight’s pinch hitter connects with the ball. It soars over the back wall with a loud _crack_ , and the team’s last few steadfast fans let out a resounding cheer. It won’t be enough to win.

“How’s the night job going?” Dick asks casually after a few seconds pass.

Jason instantly looks behind them. There’s nobody around, but Bruce has hammered the importance of discrepancy into him. Dick looks unconcerned, though.

“It’s going good.” He offers, trying to match Dick’s easygoing demeanor.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it.” Jason says without a thought. He loves every part of it. He loves being Robin, but he also loves school and going home to Alfred’s warm meals, and he loves it when he nails a tricky maneuver in training and Bruce gets that proud gleam in his eye.

Dick smiles at him. It’s warm and genuine. And Jason loves that too. 

“Good.” Dick says, and Jason finds himself smiling back. 

“What about you?” Jason asks after a moment. Because maybe he’s just a little interested in Dick’s life too. His life as the _leader of a badass superhero team_. 

Dick glances over, giving Jason a funny look. “Me?” He says, like he has to think about it. “Well there's never a dull moment with the Titans.” Dick idly brushes a hand through his unruly hair and turns his gaze back to the field as the next batter strikes out. “It’s not always easy. But we’re a family. And there’s not a team out there I’d rather have at my back.”

Jason exhales and stares into the deep green grass in the outfield. Being Batman’s partner has been a dream come true, but Jason would be lying if he said he would never want more. He reads the reports when Bruce isn’t watching. He follows all news of the Titans religiously. And sometimes he imagines being on a team of his own. Saving the world with his peers. With his friends. 

“I wish I had that.” Jason says quietly. He thinks that someday he will.

Dick sighs beside him. “It’s nice.” He admits before pausing. “But don’t take what you have now for granted.”

They watch the rest of the game in silence. The Knights lose 15 to 4.

……

Dick has to leave the next morning. 

Jason dogs his heels around the manor as he gets his things together. Dick doesn’t seem to mind.

“Then Jennifer told Mr. Wexler that Ryan had cheated off of her, so now they’re _both_ suspended for three days, and Ryan’s my lab partner for chem so I am _so_ screwed next week.” Jason rambles as they head down the steep stairs to the cave. 

Dick snorts. “I think you can handle it, _Robin_. Last week you helped Batman analyze Crane’s newest pet project. I think chemistry class will be a breeze.

“ _AP_ chemistry.” Jason corrects, maybe a little smugly. “But that’s not the point. I’m going to have to work with Pete _Funerton_ , and he’s the worst.”

“Why’s that?”

Jason shrugs a little sheepishly. “He’s an ass. He thinks he’s better than everyone else. I’ll probably end up punching him in the face, and then Bruce will be pissed and I’ll get benched for a week.” He glances over at Dick. “How did you deal with _those kinds_ of kids when you were at school?” 

Dick hums. “Not as well as I should have. Trust me, my example isn’t one you want to follow.”

“Why, what would you do?”

“Usually punch them in the face.” Dick admits, and Jason cackles. The former Boy Wonder glances back at him, looking a little amused himself. “But you said you like school. You don’t want to get suspended, do you?”

Jason shrugs. “I guess not.”

“Look, I’ll tell you right now you’re going to meet a lot of kids like Pete Funerton. Hell, you’ll meet a lot of adults like that too. They’ll look down on you because of where you came from. They’ll say things to your face that will make you want to scream. Just remember that what they think doesn’t matter. They’re just strangers. Don’t let them drag you down to their level.”

Jason mulls that over a little. “So, I shouldn’t punch Pete?” He eventually says with an impish grin.

Dick smiles wryly at him. “You’re a smart kid, Jay. You’re Robin. I’m sure you can find _another_ way to solve this problem.”

“I think you’re right.” Jayson replies cheerfully. Sure, it would be very irresponsible for him to punch Pete Funerton in the face, but if there _just so happens_ to be a little mix up with the lab supplies . . . 

Jason’s still plotting when they reach the main level of the cave. He wants to share his ideas, but Bruce is sitting at the computer and it’s probably best not to implicate Dick for his crimes. 

They don’t even acknowledge one another, but the atmosphere is always tense when they’re in the same room. Dick stiffens slightly as he wordlessly heads over to collect his gear. Bruce stares even harder at the monitor.

Jason sighs quietly and jumps up to sit on a metal equipment crate while he watches Dick pack up. “It’s too bad you have to leave already.” He eventually says, a little awkwardly. “I mean, I think Alfred misses having you around.” 

Dick glances up at him, and he’s smiling but it looks a little sad. “I’ll come visit again.” He says as he stands and throws his duffel bag over his shoulder. “I’d’ve liked to stay longer, but it really is an emergency.”

Jason hops back to his feet and follows Dick to his motorcycle. “Is it something with the Titans?” He asks, a little excitedly. 

Dick glances at him, then warily at Bruce, who has not yet looked away from the screens. “Yeah,” he says. “It is.”

“Are you going to space again? Or is it the Fearsome Five? Or Trigon?!”

There’s a beat of hesitation before he answers. “Deathstroke, actually.”

“Woah.” Jason says, as something simultaneous clatters to the floor at the other end of the cave. Jason glances over to the consul, where Bruce is collecting a few papers that have scattered to the floor. He looks . . . Well Bruce never looks _flustered_ , but he looks something.

Dick is looking at him too, like he wants to say something. But then he turns away to secure the bag to his bike. 

“Thanks for hanging out with me, Jay.” Dick ruffles a hand through his hair, and Jason only rolls his eyes, rather than swatting him away like he’d usually do.

“Sure, anytime.”

It’s only after Dick gets on the bike that he finally glances back at Bruce. He pauses with uncharacteristic uncertainty, but eventually he says, “Goodbye Bruce.”

The following pause feels like a lifetime. A lifetime of unbearable silence. When Bruce finally breaks it Jason releases a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

“Dick.” He says calmly. No. Coldly. “Next time . . . _call_ first.” 

Jason blinks as he processes the words, then he glances over at Dick. He looks surprised for a moment, and maybe . . . something else, but his expression quickly hardens over, and Jason can’t help but think _here we go._

But there’s no yelling, no accusations, no nothing. And all of a sudden Jason realizes Dick is looking at _him_. And he realizes that his own eyes are stinging.

Dick takes a deep breath, then gives Jason a wistful smile. “I’ll see you later, Jay.” He says before turning the motorcycle around.

“Bye Dick.” Jason says, but the roar of the engine drowns him out.

…..

The only thing open at this time of night is Big Belly Burger. Jason tosses Dick a greasy paper bag and then slides down beside him on the grated rooftop.

“Thanks.” Dick says, digging right into the bag. It’s almost four, and Dick is just beginning to realize how hungry he is. He bites into the burger eagerly.

“Sure.” Jason replies breezily as he sticks a fry into his mouth. 

And they sit like that, eating in silence, and Jason stares out into the city and Dick finds himself staring at Jason. They haven’t done this. Not in years.

Jason’s been working with them more and more in the last few months, and every once in a while Dick catches something familiar. A smile or smirk or the way he furrows his eyebrows when he’s thinking, and suddenly Dick will be floored by the fact that this is _Jason_. 

He doesn’t push it, though. This is still so new. But he’s hoped that with time they would be able to work things out.

He didn’t expect _this_ , though.

“Jason,” He starts to say as he stares down at the street below them. “I . . . Appreciate what you said back there, and all. But I can handle Bruce.” 

Jason takes a bite of his burger. “Anytime, Dickie.” He replies good naturedly.

Dick smiles slightly. “You seem like you’re doing well.” He ventures, after a moment. 

Jason glances over at him now, almost appraisingly. Then he swallows the last of the burger and crumples the bag into a ball. “You know what, I _am_.”

“I’m glad.”

Jason turns his gaze back to the city and leans back. His shoulders rise and fall as he takes in a deep breath. “You know, I was so angry for so long. I didn’t even know why.” He says after a moment.

“You had plenty of reason to be.” 

“Maybe. I mean I got killed, and that _sucks._ ” Jason says, a little _too_ dismissively. And Dick doesn’t really know how to respond to that, so instead he shoves a fry in his mouth.

“It’s weird. I was never really scared of dying. I mean no kid really thinks it’s gonna happen to them. But we got to see it first hand, so I thought about it sometimes. And I figured, well if I die, I die and that’s it. Life moves on, and I just hope nobody’s too sad about it. Of course, that was all hypothetical. Because that wasn’t going to happen. Because I was Robin. And I had plans, and people to meet, and I was going to be on some awesome team one day, just like you. But then . . . well, you know.”

Jason sighs again and runs a hand through his hair. “Robin was my dream. It was everything I ever wanted. And I got to be a hero. I could actually make a difference. And then I died. And I came back. And there was a new kid in the costume, and that hurt. And Bruce had a new life without me and that hurt too. But the worst part wasn’t that life had gone on, because that’s just how things are. No. The worst part was that it felt like there was nothing left of me. Everything I worked for, everything I did, every moment I shared with Bruce and Al and you. It’s like none of it happened. Like the best fucking years of my life meant nothing . . . I was just a dirty secret. The _bad_ Robin. The punk who was too reckless and got himself killed. The _mistake._ And the only legacy I left behind was that goddamn memorial in the Cave . . .”

“I felt like an empty shell. Like that part of me must still be dead, so I filled it with anger, and I did things I regret. But I’m done. I’m done lying to myself and blaming others for my problems. I know who I am, and my past is part of that. And I’m owning it.”

Jason falls silent now. He pulls his leather jacket closer and hunches his shoulders, and the movement is so familiar that Dick has to fight the ghost of an urge to ruffle his hair. Damn. Jay has grown up.

Dick’s eyes sting. He rubs his hand over the mask, then lets out a strangled laugh. “They do think that you were a punk.” He says.

Jason gives him a funny look. 

“The _kids_. They think that you must have been this angry trouble maker. But you were so sweet. I still have the cards you made for my birthday, you know.”

Jason rolls his eyes, but Dick catches the way his cheeks flush. Some things don’t change, he thinks with a smile. 

“Well don’t go telling them otherwise.” Jason says indignantly. “I’ve got a reputation to maintain now.”

“My lips are sealed.” Dick lies.

They chat on as the sun begins to rise. About everything and nothing. They talk about how much of an ass Bruce can be. And Dick tells Jason some embarrassing stories about their siblings. And they laugh about a gala Bruce forced them to attend years ago. The one that ended with Alfred and a fire extinguisher. It feels natural. Like for just this moment, all those years, all that pain doesn't matter. And it's perfect.


End file.
